I never forget this pretty eyes and this beloved smile I saw after two weeks in Lowood. When I arrived in Lowood it was a cold and unfriendly place for me. Nobody of the pupils talked to me and the teachers were very strict. But after two weeks I saw a cute girl sitting in her bed how was reading a book and as I entered the room she looked up und smiled. From that moment my heart got warmer and warmer and now, after one year, I am one of the happiest pupils in Lowood because my best friend is this incredible girl whose name is Jane Eyre.
I am twelve years old and my name is Raquel Welch. I came to Lowood as a poor, parentless and unhappy girl but now I am rich in friendships, I have a new family by my friends Jane and Helen Burns, another very friendly girl, and Miss Temple. And now I am as I sad one of the happiest girls in this school.
Every day in Lowood becomes better than the day before. Day after day I become better in school and the education makes more fun. My classmates become friendlier to me and my life is better than it ever was. And my whole gratefulness goes to Jane. Because she was the person who gave my life a meaning and I am so glad that I have met her. It is amazing that a single smile in a single moment can produce a totally new human like me.
261 Words
1 Kommentar:
t: I'll never forget (2)
g: those pretty eyes (2)
comma: When I arrived ..., it was ...
exp: at Lowood (1)
exp: none of the pupils (1)
exp: .. a girl who was reading (2)
exp: parentless --> orphaned (1)
exp: I have a new family in my friends (1)
exp: as I said (2)
exp: "the education makes more fun." (germanism) (2)
t: have become friendlier (2)
This is a fairly weak story and you don't really place yourself within a scene of the story as required. This is also weak with regard to vocabulary and sentence structures.
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